There is this little light in me that went ping! the moment I realised that I wanted to study law. It was the ping! I had waited aeons for. The ping! of knowing what you're meant for. The ping! whose absence meant agony, particularly agonising agony for an Ayn Rand devotee in search of the one thing that her life was meant for.
Well, I realise now it was only one ping! in a line of several more consequential ping!s to come. The ping! of job. Of guy. Of the degree of my ambition. Of the priorities that were genetically ingrained in me, and which are hopelessly rigid even in the face of changing circumstances. The ping! of realising that maybe a couple of my past pings! were simply mistimed, misjudged or misheard. The ping! that tells me that I was my happiest long back. Dang.
So I wait for these ping!s. Moments of random epiphany that tell me how to make those really important decisions. I think one's due right.....about.....now.